The dynamics between employers and employees have evolved significantly in today’s workplace. The office culture of today is very different from when I started my career 30-plus years ago. Gone are the days of rigid hierarchies and impersonal interactions. Modern leadership calls for a more personable approach, where employers are encouraged to be friendly and approachable. However, there is a fine line between being friendly and being friends.
Leaders often struggle with this, including myself. Over time we get to know our employees on a personal level, especially if we have a long-term team. We celebrate milestones in our personal and professional life. We are there for one another through the twists and turns, challenges and celebrations that take place in “As the Drill Turns.”
Now more than ever, we are more intertwined in our lives by way of social media. We have T.M.I. at our fingertips. We see and learn things about each other that may have not come up in general conversation. And we wish we were not privy to some of it.
This brings me to this question, “are the lines between employer-employee blurred?” Yes, they are.
I blurred the lines early in my career only to be confronted with challenges that could have been easily avoided had I maintained a professional boundary. They saw me as their friend, but they did not respect me as their leader. It was an error in judgment that I quickly corrected.
While it might seem beneficial for employers and employees to develop close friendships, this dynamic can lead to complications. Maintaining a professional boundary between employers and employees is essential for the health of your practice and team.
“Don’t become friends with your employees” is a straightforward but important principle in maintaining a healthy and professional work environment. Here’s why:
- Avoiding Conflicts of Interest
When an employer forms a friendship with an employee, it can create a lack of objectivity. Professional decisions, such as promotions, salary increases, or disciplinary actions, should be based on merit and objective criteria. However, when personal feelings are involved, it becomes more challenging to make unbiased decisions. This conflict can lead to perceptions of unfairness, where other employees might feel that personal relationships influence key decisions rather than performance or qualifications.
- Preventing Perceptions of Favoritism
One of the most significant risks of employer-employee friendships is the perception of favoritism. Even if the employer makes decisions objectively, the mere appearance of a close relationship can cause other employees to believe that favoritism is at play. This perception can quickly erode trust in management, leading to decreased morale, resentment, and a toxic work culture. Employees who feel they are being treated unfairly or unequally are less likely to be engaged and productive.
- Maintaining Professional Boundaries
Professional boundaries are essential for ensuring that the workplace remains a productive and respectful environment. When employers and employees become friends, these boundaries can become blurred. It may become difficult for the employer to enforce rules, provide constructive feedback, or address performance issues without damaging the personal relationship. On the other side, the employee might find it challenging to respect the employer’s authority or take critical feedback seriously, given their connection and things they know about them.
You can have strong, connected, caring relationships with your team and still maintain your professional distance – and that is all important
- Challenges in Leadership and Authority
Effective leadership requires a certain level of authority and respect. When employers develop friendships with their employees, it can undermine their ability to lead effectively. The dynamics of friendship can make it difficult for the employer to assert their authority when needed, and the employee may feel too comfortable challenging decisions or overstepping boundaries. This dynamic can lead to a breakdown in the hierarchy and make it harder to manage the team effectively.
- Navigating Difficult Conversations
In any workplace, difficult conversations are inevitable. Whether it is addressing mediocre performance, managing disciplinary issues, or delivering critical feedback, these discussions are often uncomfortable. When an employer is friends with an employee, these conversations become even more challenging. The fear of damaging the friendship can prevent the employer from being as honest or direct as necessary, potentially leading to unresolved issues and ongoing problems within the team.
- Impact on Team Dynamics
Team cohesion is crucial for a productive and harmonious work environment. When an employer forms a close friendship with a specific employee, it can disrupt team dynamics. Other team members may feel excluded or believe that they cannot build similar relationships with the employer, leading to feelings of isolation or division within the team. This division can hinder collaboration and create an “us versus them” mentality, which is detrimental to overall team performance.
- Setting a Positive Example
Employees look to their leaders for cues on how to behave in the workplace. By maintaining a professional demeanor, employers set a positive example for their team. This encourages employees to also engage with each other respectfully and professionally, creating a cohesive and productive work culture. This is why it is important to limit their view to your personal life. If they see pictures of you partying and having fun on vacation by way of social media, they may lose respect for you as their leader.
- Protecting Confidentiality and Trust
As an employer, you often have access to sensitive information about your employees and the business. A friendship can complicate the ability to keep this information confidential. Maintaining a professional distance ensures that all sensitive information is managed appropriately, and that trust is preserved.
- Supporting Employee Growth
A friendly but professional relationship allows employers to mentor and support their employees effectively. It encourages a focus on career development and professional growth, which benefits both the employee and the organization. Employees are more likely to seek guidance and support when they feel respected and valued in a professional capacity.
- Legal and Ethical Considerations
Employers are legally and ethically obligated to treat all employees fairly and equitably. Friendships in the workplace can sometimes lead to ethical dilemmas or even legal challenges if other employees believe they are being discriminated against. For example, if an employer promotes a friend over a more qualified candidate, it could lead to claims of favoritism or bias. Maintaining professional relationships helps avoid these legal pitfalls and ensures that all employees are treated based on their merits and contributions.
Final Thoughts…
While it’s important for employers to be approachable, supportive, and empathetic, crossing the line into friendship with employees can lead to a host of challenges. By maintaining professional boundaries, employers can preserve objectivity, prevent favoritism, and maintain the authority necessary to lead effectively. In doing so, they create a fair, healthy, and productive work environment that benefits both the practice and its employees.
